Close Around Me

     One blessing of the past few days is that Chris has been being cared for by a nurse and HSA who we are familiar with from previous stays.   They were put in our life at a previous time for a moment when we would need them more than ever.  Kayla who we met in May when she was his CNA both before and after ICU, and Eric who was in nurse shortly after his brain surgery.   They were his team yesterday and again today, and likely will be tomorrow.   His HSA last night, Alicia, was also amazing.   She knew how to help get him positioned in bed perfectly and he was able to get a really good nights rest.   She's here again tonight and already got him situated and he's been sleeping for an hour.

      Today the news is hard to share, and something that we didn't have a clue that would be the next difficult thing that we would face.    There are more tests being done, and we likely will know for sure tomorrow, but they believe strongly that he has multiple myeloma.   It's a form of cancer.   Today we met with Dr Soloman (the fellow) and Dr Sborov (the attending) from Huntsman.    Once the diagnosis is confirmed, he will likely be transferring over to their care.  My friend Rachel, who works at Huntsman assures me that his Doctor is amazing and we will be in very good hands at Huntsman.
   
      Multiple Myeloma can cause problems with the bones, so one thing that was done today was full body xrays.   It was a lot of work for Chris to stand and sit for all the imaging that they wanted to do, but he dug down deep and got them done.  Tomorrow IR will do a bone marrow biopsy to take samples to do testing including DNA.   Once they get the confirmation they need, they will start right away on treatment.   Rachel said that things will move very fast.

     The doctor that was able to help facilitate a bed last night came back to check on us.   She said it could be the "Happiest Worst Accident that Ever Happened".   Never could I have imagined that the scary problems with his eyes would lead us to this diagnosis.   However, her words help me feel like perhaps we've at least caught it early.

      One moment yesterday which is one I will always hold close to my heart came to mind many times today.   We sat face to face, forehead to forehead while he was in the dialysis chair.... the machine whirring right beside us.   Both of us pondering what we'd been through and where we currently were at.  The necklace that was a gift for our anniversary dangled around my neck.  He reached up and grabbed it, and caressed it with his thumb.  So much was said, with no words exchanged, in that tender moment.   The words engraved on it ring so true...

       Another tender memory not to be forgotten from today... Several times I caught him waving his hand as if to music.   I asked him what song he was hearing in his head.  Thinking he still had Queen in his head, but profoundly humbled by his response.   His answer: