I got home a week ago today. I can tell you, that I wanted to get out of that Hospital more than anything in the world at that point. There is something to just being at home. The comforts of living! Not being interrupted for a needle poke or a blood pressure check every two hours.
I feel I have come a long ways since last Tuesday. I am a lot more mobile than I was. Able to get around is nice. Went out for a short drive yesterday. Was nice to get out. Eating is getting easier, and able to eat larger and harder foods. Basically the way the trach has closed off, you have to really concentrate on where to send the food and liquids, or it tries to go down the other tube. Which makes me cough like crazy.
I know I posted on Facebook about this, but the hardest part about this whole thing, is not having my voice. Or unable to speak.
Think about it.
I can no longer answer the phone. Any calls, my only recourse is to send them directly to my voicemail, that my bride set up telling people that I cannot speak and they need to email me or text me at the number they called. Even worse? The hospital that took my voice, still calls and wants to set up appointments and stuff, and they never leave or listen to the voice mail!
As a gamer, I love multiplayer games. I have friends all across the country, that I can no longer communicate with. Playing games is great because I love the fun, the strategy, the camaraderie, etc. And it has been taken away. I can't talk to my brothers or niece or nephews over the web any more. I loved to live stream my game play, and now I can no longer do that, as you need to be able to talk to your audience.
I can no longer call and order a pizza. Or go through a drive thru and order a frosty and fries.
Ugh.
But, here is the thing. I was told I could speak at all, and at this moment, I can do very short words. It is very exhausting, but I am working on it. As long as I can help it, I will make sure I speak again.
Even if it is just to tell my sweetheart... I love you.
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