The Little Details

     Today was a quiet day in the ICU.   His kidney's aren't doing any better and while I know he preferred to not do dialysis we've reached the point where it is the next step.   He wasn't coherent or awake much today, but there was a brief moment when we were alone and he was able to tell me he loved me.   The doctors needed my permission to install the central line which they placed around eleven.   It was placed in his right neck and looks so uncomfortable.   The timing ended up working out great as I was out in the waiting room waiting for them to complete the procedure in his room when I had a visit from my mom and two of my aunts.   The dialysis tech brought the machine up, but had to leave do to an emergency dialysis needed in the NICU.   (How sad!)   Earlier in the day his nurse who was training another was talking about them sending him down for an MRI of his spine to check for infection there was explaining to her that patients in the ICU typically take priority over most others in the hospital.   They are also apparently difficult calls to be made when it comes to ICU patients.   They hopefully will be back soon to start tonight as I worry about waiting too much longer.  

    I also had a visit from Dr Sborov.   It appears that he is going to be tapping in as part of the team.   His myeloma numbers came back and the are climbing.   His m-spike is holding steady, but his lambda light chains are higher than when we checked them after he was admitted.   There are likely different versions of myeloma cells in his body and the ones that cause his m-spike are steady, but the other is raging.   His light chains are about half as high as they were when he was diagnosed.   With the extremely delicate state of his kidney's the decision to start chemo is not one he takes lightly, but he thinks its time to start chemo.   He would like to do CyBorD, which is the original chemo he did when he was diagnosed almost 5 years ago.   He also wants to also add Darzalex (which was part of his second chemo that worked for several years).   They are going to work on insurance approval and could start as early as tomorrow.   

      I wish we could wait for the dialysis to clear the toxins out of his system and return his mental status, but I completely trust Dr Sborov's judgement as he walks the fine balance to keep Chris alive.  It may seem insignificant, but while talking today he asked if we were in the same room as when he was brought here earlier this month.   I noticed it when they brought us back up.  However for him who is in and out of patient rooms all day to notice that it is an example of his attention to detail.   

     As he left the room, he paused at Chris's bed and gave him a pep talk.    He talked to him as if he was awake and told him that his brain will get better and the he needs to fight.    

     The next few days are going to be critical and Chris's desire to live is going to be more important now than ever before.   He's got a lot still to fight through and we'll take wins where we can.   Tonight while I was visiting with Reed the EEG tech arrived to remove all the wires from his head.   They didn't find anything conclusive in their study.   They had hoped to catch him going into one of his "episodes" but since he's been pretty out of it most of the past few days they were unable to.  

       Who knows what tomorrow will bring, but for me, I'm hoping it brings Chris back to me.   To talk with me and fight to be together.   It is after all our wedding anniversary, and that would be the greatest gift.   I supposed if necessary it may be a day or so late.   I know he's there struggling through the fog.